What do the behaviours look like that naturally and organically make you a likeable person?
- Be fully present.
- See it from their perspective.
- Clarify and echo key points.
- Focus on them, not your response.
- Develop genuine curiosity.
All it takes is the ability to pick up the social skills that build emotional intelligence.
Sure Ways to Avoid Being Unlikeable
A study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) in 2016 revealed that highly likeable people exhibit traits like transparency, sincerity, empathy, and a capacity for understanding others. These personality tendencies have often been associated with the concept of emotional intelligence.
Identifying and avoiding these eight behaviours or unlikeable traits can help you project the best you have to offer.
1. In place of ‘a Negative Attitude’, switch to ‘a Positive Attitude’.
Exhibiting a negative attitude can directly affect other people around you and lower morale. Consistent complaining or disagreeable behaviour lead to stress within the workplace, loss of friends and loss of reputation.
So smile. Smile all the time.
Even if you are not happy, smiling can almost instantly put you in a better mood and help you have a more positive attitude.
2. Gossiping. No. No. No.
Gossip is one of the most dangerous activities you can engage in when trying to establish good relationships.
Talking about other people’s misdeeds tarnishes your credibility and makes you look negative. How worse when you spread fake rumours!
Say No to gossip, and you have successfully signed up for being an attractive individual.
3. Being chronically late? Come early hereafter.
By regularly showing up late, you are telling others in simple terms that you do not value their time. By now, you may have better understood that perpetual lateness can seriously undermine your professional reputation.
Do you want to fight the demon called lateness? Get ready early and leave for your appointments on time.
4. Avoid having a ‘Closed Mind.’
People will not want to interact with you if they know you are intolerant of different opinions and unreceptive to new ideas. When we know you have a formed opinion, we conclude that you are unwilling to listen to ours.
Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others.
Eliminate preconceived judgment ASAP and examine every situation from multiple angles. Be an interesting person. Interesting people are curious about the world at large.
5. Do not interrupt others
Even though you have good intentions, interrupting others can be a nasty habit. It can make you look disrespectful, selfish, or megalomaniacally obsessed with keeping the conversation focus on yourself. This behaviour can become a constant source of frustration for others.
The way out? Stop and always listen to make sure other people have finished expressing their thoughts.
6. Pay attention
Not giving people full attention makes you look disrespectful. If you look on your phone, check social media and/or type in an SMS message each time they try to talk to you about an issue, you can leave people feeling ignored and make it unlikely that they will have a strong connection with you. It isn’t very pleasant.
7. Avoid ‘Humble-Bragging.’
What’s humble bragging? It means getting others to know about something you are very proud of in a way that makes it appear as if you are complaining or embarrassed.
A few examples will surface:
Someone may say: “I cannot believe my coworkers nominated me for this award!”
A person may make fun of themselves in front of everybody for having a strict diet, while they really want other people to know how healthy and disciplined they are.
This behaviour can be even more annoying than regular bragging because it is perceived as insincere.
May I say to you that you will not be perceived as pompous if you express how happy you are about an achievement politely and honestly.
8. Ask questions, follow-up questions
Asking many questions increases people’s positive impressions.
Not asking questions during a conversation can make your interlocutor feel like you are not paying attention or that you are simply not interested in what they are saying.
Those who ask for more information with follow-up questions are better liked by their conversation partners.
Follow-up questions show that you commit to a conversation, demonstrating interest, understanding, and validation.
A simple clarification question intimates that you are not only listening but also that you care about what the other is explaining.
For example, if you are not sure you understand the instructions your superior gave you, you should ask for clarification immediately instead of spending days trying to figure it out yourself.